over thinking it

in a moment of weakness i promised to finally send a picture of children with our Christmas card.  it was a moment of weakness before i found out that the photographer i like was taking a year off due to lack of child care.  so i had a promise and no photographer.  i hate going back on promises.
for about a month i have been following my children every day carrying multiple forms of photographic equipment in hopes of getting a good picture.  setting up a picture didn't work, stalking them in their sunday best hasn't worked, stalking them in whatever the hey they are wearing as long as they're together and looking at the camera has kind of worked.  i have had moments of pure utter body crushing frustration when the camera hasn't focused during the fleeting millisecond of a great picture.  i have given up... i'm using the best that i have and i have firmly decided it will be another 6 years before i send another picture with a Christmas card.
the idea of picture Christmas cards has opened up more time wasting analysis than i ever want to deal with again.  not just picture analysis but card analysis.  the hours of my life i will not get back from scrolling through countless cards online and the details of masterpiece mystery that i missed while scrolling through countless cards online.  then there was the thought that maybe i want the picture on the back because which is more important.... the sentiment expressing joy at the birth of our Savior or the quasi smiling faces of my rugrats.  i never think this way when people send me Christmas cards.... 'oh goodness sakes, the Smiths' put their kids before Jesus.'  yeah, i don't think that way.... except when i'm sending a card and then i'm over analyzing the importance rank on a Christmas card as determined by greeting and photo placement.  why doesn't my brain work this hard when i'm trying to have an intelligent conversation.... i would really like to know.  i will have to ignore the memory of all the useful minutes i have wasted in preparing for this future printing of a piece of paper that will end up in a trash bin on the 26th of december.  but i can't stop myself.  i love Christmas cards.  i like to send them and i love to receive them.  i like to have a good verses praising God and i always somehow include a typo; and it's important to me to think these details through.  i've tried to stop but it just means i don't sleep well that night.  it's my own personal brand of crazy i guess.  just remember that when you receive my Christmas card that a lot of thought went into it and consider keeping it until december 27th or even longer because it really will be another 6 years before i send another picture card if ever.  and if you receive one at all count yourself lucky because i'm pretty cut-throat with my list.  i have to really like you to send out the physical reminder of all this analysis and joy... or you send me one (i always return the sentiment).