my life is a comic strip

a series of ridiculous events that i can laugh at.

except for my teeth, then it's a tear jerker.

but i believe that was all caused by a dentist who turned out to be addicted to drugs and alcohol so then i guess it's a traumatic drama.

but what it comes down to is after five years of putting off a permanent crown i finally had made the appointment to get a permanent crown.  getting fitted for that was lovely as i forgot that the gestation of human beings causes the gums to bleed more easily. tack an extra half hour onto that appointment.

but i was fitted and a temporary put on and the mold sent away for the making and whopping big bill promised in the mail.

and then i went home and two days later i found a tootsie roll.

a left over from parade candy.

a morsel of chocolate delight wrapped in paper too high for p to see and singing my name.

and i forgot about the temporary.

oops.

don't swallow the temporary.... just swallow the tootsie roll.  done.

the temporary was so uncomfortable i admit i didn't call my dentist for a full day and then the office was closed for the weekend.

whoops.

walk around all weekend as our family's own personal bit of west virginny and finally schedule an appointment for the middle the week.  11:45.

i can do that.  no problem.

except i forgot about the way the gestation of human beings makes me forget things.

wednesday rolls around and as i'm cleaning the house, scrubbing toothpaste off of the bathroom mirror i start to grumble, i admit it, grumble why is there spit on the mirror from brushing teeth...

TEETH.

i look at the clock.

it is 11:44.

this is where i should introduce my outfit.

my house outfits are sometimes rather lovely.  this particular day included a very inexpensive tent like dress of horizontal 1 1/2 inch black, neon pink, neon blue, neon green, neon hello stripes. 

topped off with humidity driven hair twisted in a top knot and the beautiful hair clips of a certain p which she so lovingly placed on the sides to keep my hair out of my face.

bottomed off with man like orthopedic flip flops.

and it was 11:44.

throw the dog in her place.  lock the door and p and i sprint the block and a half to the dentist office.

'hello hello so sorry so sorry i'm 10 minutes late.'

'oh we figured you forgot honey, your appointment was 11:30'

crap.

'don't worry, we'll fix it.'

crap, they're nice about it.  now i really feel like a heel.

'good news your permanent is in.  we'll just put that in now.'

i settle in the chair mortified, sweaty, neon, hair clipped, frizzed, and frazzled and it's at this point i remember..

i had forgotten to brush my teeth that morning.

family circus has nothing on me.