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Thursday, June 20, 2013

bad dream come true


our internet is finally back on... kind of.
it's a slug and i'm still on the war path to get a refund for every day i didn't and don't have working internet.  that's my six bucks and i want it back.
i'm not even going to try to load pictures but fortunately my calamity gene has struck again and i gots a story to tell.

i have repeated dreams about ticket mishaps.  airline tickets, concert tickets, turn pike tickets, tickets to anything.
i get anxiety every time i have a ticket.  i check my purse about one thousand times.  i'm paranoid i'm going to lose them.
i hate it.
i recently bought tickets to two traveling broadway shows for p and i to go to:
seven brides for seven brothers and the little mermaid.
i love a good musical so i was and still am really excited.  i was nervous about the prospect of getting a nosebleed in any section that would only charge $10 for a seat but i decided it was worth the risk.
the day of seven brides for seven brothers was one of those weird wonderful days where everything goes well.
my house was all clean and stayed clean..... that's weird.
i wasn't in a rush.  definitely odd.
p and i enjoyed time in the yard gardening... that's normal enough.
i scheduled rides etc and everything was running on time.... definitely not normal.

after we all were ready and i locked the door i decided.... i better check the tickets once again and yep, there they were, where i put them at 1pm that afternoon (i put the tickets in my purse that ahead of time because i really am extremely paranoid).
okay, let's leave with an hour to get to the theater.
i couldn't believe it.  i was on time.  this is where you sing the 'wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles' song from fiddler on the roof.
we made it down town in enough time to park in the $5 parking garage a couple blocks away from the theater.
we made it to the theater with a full ten minutes to spare before the doors closed....
i couldn't believe it.  i was on time.
we made it to the ticket lady and i looked down to hand her our tickets and i saw
'the little mermaid'.
that's right, i had brought the wrong tickets.
i don't know for sure but i have been told that my face was priceless.  i'm am sure it was somewhere between hysterical and agony.
how in the world could i do that.  all that effort and we can't go.
fortunately i'm not the only knucklehead to have ever brought the wrong tickets.
the theater wisely prints the purchaser on the tickets so there is a record of tickets bought by that person.
thank goodness.
to the box office we went.
'hi, i'm the idiot girl who brought the wrong tickets.'
problem, i bought the tickets with a group of 39 people and i could not guarantee that my seats to this show were the same as the seats to the next show.
and there were people who hadn't shown up yet so she couldn't print me a set of unused tickets because if they were a duplicate of someone else's tickets instead of mine our use of them would void the other theater goers tickets.  oh doo doo.
all i could do was stare at the box office lady with a stupid look on my face.
please tell me what to do lady, an anxiety nightmare just came true, i can't think right now.
i eventually said something to the effect of 'do we just chill in the lobby til the show starts?'
thankfully, oh so thankfully, the box office lady had another suggestion.
she reprinted us already used tickets so we could get into the door and told us to go to our section and ask around our group for our seats.
her words were 'i hope you don't mind talking to people'.
nope, i don't.  i've been messing up in front of people for 30 years now, i can handle asking around for my seats.
so we climbed 6 flights of steps to the very top of the theater and then i proceeded to tell my story to two sections of people in the wing our seats were located somewhere in with no success.
yep.
then i had the genius plan of looking for homeschoolers (the group we bought the tickets through)
because it's not hard to spot a group of homeschoolers.
how crazy is the world when a group of neatly, modestly, well dressed and well behaved children and parents stick out of a crowd like a sore thumb.
fortunately for me they do because i literally looked up, pointed like a naval explorer and said:
'those are homeschoolers,'
proceeded to their section and only had to embarrass myself one more time with my story instead of two more times.  embarrassing  myself three times (not including at the box office) at a CLO show downtown at a beautiful theater is quite enough times for me.
there was the moment when whilst talking to a homeschool mom and telling our pathetic tale we were unsure which two of six open seats actually belonged to us but she had two seats that people did not show for and we could sit in her row without worrying about being kicked out.
so we did.
and then we realized that in our hurry to scoot into the middle of the row we forgot to get programs.
so a well dressed, kind, and respectful young man in the group got two for us and we started to fan the anxiety sweat from our brows just as the lights went down.
yep, to the wire but technically, technically, i was not late.

oh and the show was great.

and earlier in the day p and i were swinging on the front porch and i asked her what was her favorite thing about the day and she said 'playing in the back yard.'
i answered 'oh, with your cousins, that was great fun, i'm glad.'
to which she responded 'no, when i was with you.'
and i turned into a puddle of something like liquid salty tears and and declared that day a family holiday.
i will embarrass myself a million times over if i can have days with words like that in them more often.

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