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| i'm sorry, could you resist an apple sugar bowl. |
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| not a perfect match to my great grandmother's mixing bowl but pretty close. |
i had three loaves of bread going and not much usable counter space (unless i crated the dog- downside of having a weimaraner) so i was a little more crowded than usual.
when finishing our bread i loaf dumped it on the cooling rack and tipping my pan right side up it slipped out of my hand and landed...
landed in the cold sink.
all the air immediately left the room (sucked out by me) as i stared at it. for a moment it was safe
and then it popped....
into a thousand pieces.
my beautiful 40's tan 2.5 quart pyrex casserole with gold circles was gone. lost. forever.
bo had rushed into the kitchen when he heard the noise expecting to find me bleeding. he's become very used to me maiming myself in the kitchen.
instead of blood and general bodily harm he found me sniffling at the counter.
yep.
i cried.
i totally cried.
when i sliced my thumb, knocked my head off of the floor and went to the e.r. did i cry? no.
when i burned off all the finger prints of my left hand? not one salty drop.
breaking my pyrex? the floodgates opened.
i don't hold much dear beyond my family but oh. my pyrex. my beautiful beautiful pyrex. maybe it was a release, who knows, but there i stood with my grey sweater over my face completely upset.
i mourn for you beautiful pyrex bought from tiny grey haired osteoporosis ridden catholic ladies who run the rummage sale. i specifically remember one putting it into my hands and saying 'this is old'.
it made it 70 years and then it met me.
come to think of it. i endured 22 hours of labor and i don't remember crying.
broken pyrex. immediate tears.
what is wrong with me. i must be holding some frustration in or something. i think i do that. i hold it all in and then cry like mad at a hallmark commercial.
of course i couldn't rest until i replaced (if you can replace such a treasure). it was my only one that size. which meant that in my grief i spent WAY too much money on etsy for a new one and then had to pay the same price to ship it to me. (i did try good will first) i will keep searching for back ups at every garage sale i go to from here on out.
i'm sorry pyrex. i'm so sorry.
to lighten up the mood here is the bread recipe (via a relative -thanks) that killed the pyrex.
1 Tbsp yeast.
1 1/2 cups water (i use warm)
2 Tbsp canola oil
2 Tbsp honey
4 cups flour ( i use unbleached bread flour)
1 tsp salt.
i do not use a bread maker so do not use the order of ingredients here.
bake at 375 degrees. (after kneading, rising, kneading etc)
i bake.... baked :( in a 2.5 oval pyrex. i let it rise in the pan till all sides met the ledge and then i put in the hot oven where it would get big higher. i hate short sandwich bread.
REALITY CHECK:
last night we were driving home from the store and since the windows were open i could smell something car related. asked bo and he said it's brakes. yep, it was. it smelled like someone had slammed on their brakes from a very high rate of speed to a stop.
then we saw a police car go by rather quickly with lights going. i then noticed a police car going down the highway above us (in the opposite direction as the first which was on our road).
i just had a really bad feeling about it. it was weird. something in me knew it was not good. i've been making it a habit to pray for salvation, safety, and justice every time i see those flashing lights.
this morning i found out that a little boy killed in the accident that i smelled and those police cars were responding to (the police car that went by us was speeding towards the on-ramp). i can't imagine the scene that they will remember for the rest of their lives - add their salvation and healing to the list and the family of that precious boy.
i feel sick. everyone give a kiss to their precious babies for me.
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