wheat you were sweet but we're back on white

i used to buy wheat bread...stand in walmart, flip it over, look for the whole grain ingredient, smoosh-press the tops to find the freshest one, ignore that fact that it was $1.50 more per loaf and continue merrily on my way.  then sometime for some reason this terrible thing started happening.....my bread started to get moldy before we finished the loaf.  i keep my twist-ties and the microwave is a perfect bread box so i was a little fuming at $2.49 going down the drain.  so i started making my own wheat bread....it stinks... honestly, what magic to they put in store wheat bread to keep it from drying out?  oi vey, after 4 months of sandwiches falling apart in my hands and in the toaster i'm throwing in the towel and pulling out the processed all white straight to my thighs flower that sticks together till the whole loaf is gone and just tastes that much better with mayo.....my bread maker thanks me too....no more honey drips.

question of the day is will penelope suffer terrible childhood scars from not having wonder bread sandwiches?  eh, she'll get over it.